Last night I was reminded - again - of why I am so passionate about my work. It was really useful at a time when I'm doing all kinds of deep diving into my ideal client, branding and market niche with my coach.
You see... my gorgeous 14 year-old daughter is a brilliant source of what's going on with young women and, I'm sorry to say, what she tells me often makes me sad.
The young women she hangs out with at school and athletics are variously preoccupied with their looks and boob size. Everyone wants bigger boobs. Nobody's happy with their looks. Many self-harm or suffer bouts of depression and low self-worth.
And, according to my gorgeous girl, the "cool squad" (of which she is not a part) are the MOST insecure.
My daughter has had a fair few pitying comments of the kind "don't worry, you'll grow"... with reference to her boobs, which come from the assumption that she must feel badly that they are small !
Newsflash: she doesn't!
Boldly defying every social pressure and cultural convention, my daughter is both nakedly realistic and refreshingly self-assured.
As she said to me in the car tonight: "I know I'm not the most beautiful girl. I'm realistic about that. I know there are plenty of girls with much prettier faces or "perfect" bodies, but the point is I totally accept and love how I am, whereas most of them don't. I don't want to change anything about myself. I don't mind that my boobs are small. How my body looks is a fact. What I think about that is a choice."
I can't tell you how delighted I was to hear my daughter say this.
It frustrates the hell out of her that so many of her friends aren't happy with how they are and, more's to the point, try to impose their own sense of physical inadequacy upon her.
But the's not having it. Even though it's darn hard to resist such a huge tide of social and cultural pressure for the feminine to associate her worth with a beauty aesthetic.
And even though I'm so proud of and relieved for my daughter, I'm truly saddened that things have changed so little since my youth and that mothers are clearly passing this kind of thinking on to their daughters.
Because it's this kind of thinking that keeps a woman susceptible to manipulation (by encouraging her to believe she's inherently "not good enough" ), and inhibits her from shining her light and living her fullness by disconnecting her from her inner power, her body and feminine wisdom.
And last night, I also felt intolerant of this self-deprecation fest, which can sometimes strike me as a narcissistic indulgence for privileged societies, because these are all such blessed young women - they have great health, good looks, intelligence, comfortable homes, loving parents. I felt like saying "come on now ladies, can we find something a bit more important to worry about?! There are people caught up in terrible wars, girls not being educated and refugees starving in the world and you worry about your bra size?!!!!
And if only I could catch them now and tell them - as I tell my daughter, that the most stunningly beautiful women are no happier!
If only I could tell them about the jaw-droopingly exquisite looking women who've graced my workshops or session space, yet experience bad relationships, low self-esteem, dissociation from their bodies, no sensation in their yoni.
If only I could tell them how very sad it is that my own mother, now 87 and flashing in and out of lucidity with dementia, STILL deems herself not thin and beautiful enough!
In all her life, she has never come to love and accept herself as she is.
And this is why I am so passionate about my work and my mission to remind women of who and what they truly are: an embodiment of the Goddess: supremely powerful, inherently radiant, infinitely creative, designed for exponential pleasure and born knowing.
Please don't buy into the conspiracy to keep you insecure and hooked on external validation.
Please don't absorb the disempowering script that would have you believe your monthly cycle is a curse, an impurity, a pain or a sin.
OR that your body is anything but gloriously perfect, sensual, wise and radiant exactly as it is - whatever age, shape or size you are.
Any thought that tells you that what you are or how you look is not good enough is an attempt to keep you small, controlled and disconnected from your true power and divinity.
Don't listen to it !
As my daughter also said tonight: "I AM THE SOURCE !"
We all are!
Let's wake up to that!
If you're a woman who'd like to feel, know and live your inherent magnificence, power, beauty and worth - understanding that is all comes from WITHIN, then join my Dancing the Goddess course in London, contact me for some one-to-one coaching or find out more about my upcoming Awakening Shakti Year Group.