Stop Comparing !
I'm blessed to do what I love and be guided to show up in the world as I do.
Because of my public presence and work, I am constantly receiving all manner of glowing feedback from women, both clients and followers, which always blows me away.
I never take it for granted or expect it, but it's incredible to feel so seen, supported, celebrated and appreciated.
I love inspiring women !!! ❤🌸❤🌸❤
The other day, I received a wonderful message from a client, expressing both her admiration of me, as well as honestly admitting, that she'd also had some less benevolent thoughts.
On the one hand, comparing herself and finding herself lacking.
And on the other, projecting a few mean thoughts my way too.
I loved this woman's candour! How refreshing for this to be out in the open, rather than shamefully tucked away to fester somewhere.
I feel so darn grateful that she gave it voice.
Because it made me realise: this is something that happens a lot, this comparison, judgement and finding one's self lacking.
Which, of course, creates bad feeling and limitation.
Just like the lady, who expressed her desire to come to my Dancing the Goddess workshop, but then sabotaged herself by saying "but I can't dance like you and have got two left feet!!"
Imagine - all the joy, healing, inspiration and connection that one thought interrupted!!
Or the woman, who commented on my interview with The Sun “well, if I had 5% body fat, beautiful bone structure and such gorgeous hair, I’m sure I’d find a younger lover”.
Which, of course, simply isn’t true! Because attraction and pair-bonding is ultimately about your frequency, not your face.
What you embody, you attract. And if you’re embodying the belief “I’m too old for xx” or “I’m unattractive”, then life will reflect that right back ‘atcha.
Ladies – PLEASE stop comparing yourselves to others and using that measure to put yourself down !
It’s cruel and disempowering. And, here’s a little known secret – it’s a carry-over from the patriarchy.
It’s a masculine (mind-based) tendency to compare and contrast, judge and label, order into rank and defer to the top dog.
The feminine way is to love, support, connect and nurture. She includes and embraces all.
You’ve internalised the voice of a bullying critic, who will never let up on its insistence you aren’t good enough.
Not pretty, thin, young, sexy, busty (or butt-y LOL) enough. Or whatever your version of “enough” is.
Let’s be done with this once and for all.
You are so much more than all these exteriorities.
You are so much more than a label.
Your value does not lie in your face or your figure. Or whatever the culturally determined gold standard is.
Your value is inherent to your being. Unchanging. Unassailable.
You simply have to know that and put your focus there. Value-ing you.
If you don’t, you could have the looks, money or success of a super-model, but still feel like shit inside. I know, because I’ve coached that woman.
I’m not saying this to guilt-trip you, but because it pains me every time I hear a woman talk herself down. And I can see so plainly the lie of those thoughts and the truth of your beauty.
Not to mention the way this mind-set cages and limits you. Life is a precious gift. Don’t waste it comparing yourself to others!!!
Here are a few tips:
💫 Next time you catch yourself doing the comparison thing, tell your inner critic to butt out, put your hands on your heart and blast love at those vulnerable, inadequate-feeling parts.
💫 Next time you are having judgy or bitchy thoughts towards another woman, ask yourself what qualities in her you admire and would love to embody. Let her inspire you!
💫 Next time a woman shares a success, celebrate her! In celebrating her, you celebrate you. We are all sisters on this awakening journey and we all need all the support we can get.
Trust me, however privileged, pretty or sorted someone looks to you – we ALL have our challenges. We ALL have our shadows. We ALL have our moments of self-doubt.
💫 Oh, and finally, don’t’ forget to start celebrating you. Claim your gifts without apology. Stand tall in the essential power of being you. You are Goddess given. Own it. Shine it. This is how you bless the world.
Let’s step out of that noose of comparison and rise – together.