When something feels uncomfortable or confronting, it's natural to seek relief.
Common relief mechanisms include:
* getting busy doing stuff * (over) eating * (boozing * taking drugs * analysing * shopping * perfecting * bitching * blaming * telling the story of it (ad infinitum aka #rehashforthe100thtime) * worrying * falling "in love" (aka love projection addiction) * having friction sex
Thing is, none of these actually gives you lasting relief.
They'll probably only compound your bad feelings; adding guilt, shame or self-loathing into the mix and amplifying negativity.
Chances are, that after the momentary high or forgetting, you'll be back at one of them again. Trapped in a pain/relief cycle.
And so yes, here it comes: THE ONLY WAY OUT IS IN !!
Several years ago now I stepped out of an abusive relationship.
I felt as if I'd been emotionally and psychologically pummelled black and blue.
I would have given anything to make the pain go away. But I had nowhere else to turn by that point.
Booze, shopping, binge-ing or drugs have never been my thing.
But I'd done the perfectionism, busyness, victim wailing, quest to understand, psychoanalysis and love and sex addiction to death.
I'd used up all 9 lives.
With nowhere else to go, all that was left was me + me and a reluctant knowing it was time to just sit and be.
Even though I'd been meditating for years by that point, including training as a teacher of Mind & Meditation, the one thing I'd cleverly avoided was a deep-dive into radical stillness.
I felt resistance. A lot at first. But, my desire for peace and healing was stronger.
And so I persisted. Every morning. And often every evening too. Until one day, I realised I was loving it so much, I couldn't wait to sit down and close my eyes.
Instead of avoiding stillness, I actively sought it out!
And a smile spread across my face and inside my being, that was unmistakable.
My kids even teased me (lovingly) for my tendency to sit on the tube in blissful meditation or greet the world with a radiant gaze, not understanding why people seemed to stare at me. LOL !
But should it really be so unusual to look unapologetically happy or let love shine from the eyes?
Personally, I believe that's our natural state.
It's just that we're conditioned into forgetting.
But I understand now, how the deeper we go in, the more light, love and truth there is to bring out.
And the less power all those things that drive us into the pain/relief cycle have over us. They are, after all, ALL OF THEM, excuses.
All those "yes, buts". They're putting off the inevitable. Everyone has some issue or challenge. However privileged they look.
It's up to you to change things.
We detach. We witness. We be.
And in the space that opens up, there is calm, creativity, trust, inspiration, flow and abundance.
Because we remember our already whole-ness. And the clarity of our being informs our doing.
In these awakening times, the shit is really hitting the fan.
Grounding yourself in awareness is the #1 tool you're going to need in your "I shall thrive" kit.
Meditation is the key.
Come & join me this Sunday for a Meditation as Woman mini Retreat.
3 hours of guided meditation practice in a sacred sisterhood circle, where all is welcome and your feminine is honoured.
Come to release, re-set, nurture, deepen and return to your own still centre. Shifting your inner state and amping up your vibe. So that when you open your eyes, they shine and all you see is perfection.
Whatever you pesky mind is telling you now, I assure you, your whole being will thank you for it
We meet on Zoom, 10am-1pm, UK Time Sunday, January 24th, Investment: £33. Register here.
Art: Lillith by Leigh McCloskey