In modern society, we have been socialised to separate ourselves off into disconnected parts and give our power away.
We have our body. We have our mind. We have our emotions. And we have our Spirit.
As if this isn’t already enough separation, we tend to regard our individual body parts or our many emotions and thoughts as distinct, rather than as part of a whole.
Nestled still deeper yet within this endless categorisation and compartmentalisation, are those parts of ourselves we love and the parts of ourselves we disown, repress, or perhaps even hate.
On top of this, we have been conditioned to surrender our sovereignty over these supposedly distinct parts of ourselves to another: to the government, the doctors, academics, "experts", our employer, the media, our culture, family or lover.
Which is how patients get given pills for depression, rather than, perhaps being proscribed cuddles and sunshine. Or better yet, dialoguing with their own body-mind about its needs.
Or how workers endure sitting for hours at a supermarket check-out, overriding their body’s inherent need to move or go to the toilet.
It’s how we allow our boundaries to be over-ridden, slide into inauthenticity and live with an ever-present niggling sense of dissatisfaction.
We’ve stopped joining up the dots; recognizing ourselves as one and one with the all.
We've stopped being able to FEEL our truth.
And we’ve stopped consulting and trusting our own embodied wisdom.
This is how, as a highly intelligent 36 year-old woman, I came to give birth for the first time without any real understanding of the changes taking place within me, nor the nitty gritty of the process.
I allowed my body to be scanned, poked and prodded (as a “high risk” pregnancy). I listened to the (male) ob-gyn and nurses. I obeyed when they insisted I wasn’t in serious labour and told me to leave the hospital, even though I knew I was close to transition.
And, as a result, I experienced a traumatic birth, that led to a whole series of knock-on effects, including vaginal tearing and a distancing from my husband.
What does this have to do with your sexuality, I hear you ask?
Well, as the woman who experienced this, but also as a Priestess of Sacred Sexuality Facilitator of Sexual Awakening for Women and long-standing teacher of embodied awareness, I understand that your sexuality pertains to every aspect of your lived experience through a female body, and most notably your yoni and life-force energy.
How you were loved and held as a baby
Who modelled the masculine and feminine for you and how
The narratives your culture told you about being a “good” girl or desirable woman
What happened at the time of your first bleed and blossoming into adolescence
How you first discovered your body, genitals and sexual pleasure
Your relationship with your monthly cycle, womb and fertility
The first time you made love
The first time your heart was broken
Your experience of pregnancy and birthing
Your experience of mothering
All of these and more will directly affect your relating style and love-making. And those two don’t really go one without the other.
So if, for example, you experience pain during intercourse or are unable to reach orgasm, this cannot be resolved as a localized “problem” with the vagina, as my doctor tried to (by giving me anti-depressants and telling me to “use it or lose it”), but must be explored within a holistic context that takes into account all of the above.
Similarly, if you wish to expand your experience of sexuality into the multi-orgasmic and sacred, then the more you engage with yourself as a holistic embodiment of the feminine principle, the more luscious, empowered and connected you will become.
Which means that, for almost all of us on the road to awakened womanhood there is a reclaiming, re-membering and re-sanctifying to be done.
This is my work as a Priestess of Love & Sacred Sexuality. And it is my passion to guide you on your way through my one-to-one sessions, Dancing the Goddess courses and Awakening Shakti Online Group Programme.
The Awakening Shakti Online Group Programme is launching on January 6th, 2019. Sacred Body of Woman is a key module in our 9-month journey and you are welcome to join us. Early Bird registration (saving you £200) ends on December 30th, 2018. Do message me with any questions.