My kids and I have taken to watching the Medici series on Netflix. We love it.
Aaah - the Renaissance (sigh! all those multi-talented Renaissance men, art, beauty, Firenze... ) plus romance, intrigue, costume garb, handsome actors & some decent acting.
So last night, Cosimo de Medici was back in Firenze after a year's exile. His wife had been devotedly faithful. He hadn't. She laid into him good and proper. What a Madonna! We cheered.
But then a little later they had "make up sex" - of kinds.
I loved the fact that she wasn't wearing any knickers under her bosom-plumping red dress, and the scene was beautifully set, BUT the whole thing was done & dusted within about 30 seconds!!
Er-hem!
It seemed like Cosimo de Medici had not heard of fore or after-play. Indeed, it looked like he was in a race to ejaculate by humping his poor wife - who, to be honest, could have been anything with an orifice given the level of affection & connection displayed - as vigorously as possible. And then brushing down his doublet and returning to business as usual.
My 15 year-old son was first to comment. "That's kinda weird! It looked kinda rapey".
So I felt compelled to respond. Both for my son and daughter's sake.
Indeed, I agreed, it did. Under ordinary circumstances, if a woman was approached in that way, intercourse would be unenjoyable and possibly painful, since she needs time, love, tenderness and lots of touch all over her body (not just on the genitals!) to become aroused and lubricated.
A man should never enter a woman if she is not ready, nor should any woman allow herself to be entered if her yoni isn't saying YES!
Love-making may last for hours, I explained, not minutes!
I've always been totally open with my kids about sex, but this was the first time we've spoken about foreplay and lubrication. It was news to them both.
I'm glad they know. And it seems such a vital and missing piece from the sex ed at school.
Made me wish to be able to hold space for groups of teens to talk about these issues and more. Tantra for teens. It's so needed.