I’m excited. Just as much, I realise now, at the prospect of sleeping under canvas, as together with this beautiful man.
The relief I feel at stepping outside into the cool night air enlivens me. I hadn’t realised, until this moment, how confined I’d been feeling in the crowded, fuggy dorm-room. But now my body revels in the stillness and expansive dark, and I breathe in the night with a grateful heart.
Practically blind without my lenses, I walk carefully across the dewy grass (what time is it anyway?!) and towards the tent I’m hoping is the one where we’ve agreed to rendezvous.
Lifting the tent flap and poking my nose inside, I’m relieved to see Peder. Throwing my bedding in and tossing off my shoes, I slip inside and thread the entrance closed.
It feels a little naughty to be here where we shouldn’t be. But on the other hand, I wish I’d known this secret earlier. Having space and being close to earth and sky, feels so much better than my narrow, creaky top bunk, where my nose is practically pushed up against the ceiling.
We start with practicalities. The mattress cover has a massive wet patch on it. (I’m guessing a massage client squirted on it). So we move that aside and create a cosy nest with our combined sleeping gear. I’m beginning to shiver now and can’t wait to snuggle.
For a moment I wonder if or how we’ll even be able to make love, when I’m so cold, I just want to bundle up, rather than taking anything off.
But within minutes of getting under the covers together, I’m not thinking about what may or may not happen, I am simply enjoying the warmth and precious intimacy of this moment.
It feels so good to rest in each other’s arms, body to body, heart to heart and just be: allowing this next level of meeting. Gentle words. Tenderness. Sweet truths exchanged. I am so appreciating this man’s sensitivity and awareness.
There is no goal, push or expectation, but we quite naturally grow warmer side by side, and desire begins to spark and move us, as our energies ignite and blend.
Softest touch, flowing caresses, sensual kisses. My skin feels alight with delicious sensation and my body trembles and arches up towards him; offering the opening of my heart.
“May I kiss your yoni?” he asks.
And I’m a little taken aback. Not by the notion of yoni kisses, which I love, but by his direct and respectful request. In all my erotic adventures, I don’t recall a lover ever asking my permission for this and I am touched.
It adds to the sense of reverence and care between us. And forces me to check in with myself, rather than simply allow our intimacy to slide towards an inevitable conclusion.
I realise I’m feeling a little shy about it. And I share this with him.
“Well, I would love to offer you this. And I’m sure you will like it.” Peder says straightforwardly, with just the hint of a cheeky smile.
I’m sure I will. And I do.
Just like on the dance-floor, our bodies continue in effortless flow together: building passion and pleasure in endless waves of subtle intensity. Gratitude and honouring guide our hands and mouths, awakening our senses to the delights of taste, touch and scent.
And then, without looking for it, the moment arrives when we are both ready to merge. He, ardent and hard. I, lusciously opened and wishing for his penetration. We pause, gazing into one another’s eyes, quivering on the edge of desire and checking in with one another, once again, as to our yes.
Yes. Yes, yes and yes !
When the sun is already rising, the birds beginning their chorus and the air alive with the scent of morning, we fall asleep in each other’s arms, tender and glowing with blissful connection and fulfilment.
To be continued...
Note: The Flow Artist is my tantric counter-narrative to the short story, Cat Person, that was recently published in the New Yorker.
As someone passionate about love, conscious relating and sacred sexuality, I was deeply saddened to read Cat Person. To me, it represents pretty much the opposite of everything I teach and live by, and so much about what is wrong with gender relations, dating and sexual expression today.
A big part of what I am passionate about in my work involves facilitating groups and holding space for individuals or couples to cultivate the necessary self-awareness, self-love and communication skills to be able to relate and make love in a way which engenders real connection and deeply fulfilling intimacy.
My online courses in Awakening Your Ecstatic Potential lay the foundations for this level of embodied sacred eroticism.
To enquire about my one-to-one sessions, simply drop me a line.