As I prepare for the final module of my Awakening Shakti online course - Divine Union, as well spreading the word for my Making Love Retreat next year, I've been contemplating the nature of true love and that elusive holy grail of Sacred Union so many of us - including me - long for.
What I'm coming to understand on a deeper level right now is that if I seek love or make love for my me, I will never know it.
My "me", that is my small or conditioned self, with all her fears, beliefs, ideals and projections, wants that love for her self. There is the notion that all will be whole, well and fulfilling when she "gets" that love and is with her "one." That she can finally breathe a sigh of relief in resting into love and attaining the pinnacle of conscious relationship mastery. And, oh yes, she can be really good at dressing up this projection in spiritual language.
The thing is, though, that so long as I'm doing it for my me, I'm missing the point.
Because my me would want to keep things cosy, easy, secure and in the groove of the familiar. Afraid to lose, offend or piss off her lover by being true. Afraid of pain. Afraid of conflict. Afraid of showing her deepest shadows. Afraid of walking the knife edge of now, where there are no guarantees she'll stay safe. Treading evolutionary water in the grounds of the known.
Which is the very thing a true Sacred Union would undo. Stripping me bare of every conditioning, every familiar pattern of being, every fear, belief, wounding and projection.
Leaving the Real Me - my true Self - standing.
True Sacred Union, whether with a Beloved or with God (even as they are one and the same), is ultimately a commitment to the death of "me", so that true life and love may arise, which is always now and always new.
That is the true soul's calling.
To make love with God so fervently that my "I" is utterly undone. Becoming the One.
The beautiful art above is by Ines Honfi.