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Fear of feeling is fear of the feminine


This morning, for no apparent reason, I felt a heaviness in my heart and an urge to cry. There was no obvious cause for this emotion and sensation to be showing up, but I greeted it and let it be. As I’ve gone about my day, I’ve kept on holding it in awareness. And I’m noticing now, that is has considerably eased and another emotion is bubbling up beneath it… a lightness, a joy, an inner smile.


Emotion is energy. Energy moves and changes constantly. I have no fear of my emotions, even though some of the darker ones can be challenging to stay present to, since I know this. And I also know they don’t define me.


When I’m sad or angry or happy or whatever, this is not a permanent state. It may be here one minute, gone the next. I do not need rescuing or fixing. There’s nothing that needs to be glossed over or politely ignored. Though I’m aware of the dominant tendency in our culture to want to: fix, rescue, underplay, demean ignore or numb out certain emotions we judge to be “bad” and chase or reward those we judge to be “good.”

Feeling is not to be feared. It is a healthy expression of aliveness. An aspect of ourselves we all need to embrace and include wholly, if we wish to live fully, compassionately and intimately.


What we push away, deny or repress, doesn’t go away. It gets stuck or distorted. Creating illness and shadowy behaviour: triggered explosions and delusional projections and transferences, as we hate on those, who are expressing our own denied self.


Emotion simply asks to be felt and witnessed. In this, our masculine meets our feminine. And, together, they integrate in love. This is an ongoing practice for us individually and relationally that I believe is key to a more peaceful, unified world.


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