Anyone who's done a bit of tantra, knows that the connection between sex and heart is a fundamental premise of this practice.
But, as always, knowing it intellectually, is nothing like embodying and living it.
How does this look in reality?
How do we experience it?
There are all kinds of simple, yet potent, meditations we can do; flowing breath and energy between root and heart.
Or from heart to heart and sex to sex with a partner.
Such practices can open the channels for energy to flow, creating incredible bliss, orgasmic experience and sweet, sacred intimacy.
Fabulous ! But what about in the real of life? Whether solo or In relationship?
I remember the first time I experienced this connection for myself with a suitor.
We'd met online. He struck me as a good man. I wasn't madly attracted to him, but I was open to getting to know him better.
Then, one day, as we were chatting, my heart seemed to fly open to him.
And then, to my surprise, I could literally feel my heart energy flow down to my sex centre and activate arousal !
We weren't talking about anything remotely sexual. But there was something about the way he listened - so present and compassionate - and the sense of safety this created for me, that my heart, then my sex, opened to him.
For many women, their sexual shut-down and/or disconnection from a partner, isn't really about "sex" or some malfunction of the genitals, it's about the heart.
Her womb is called the "pelvic heart" for a reason.
To make that explicit: she needs to feel psychically and physically safe, emotionally welcomed and authentically cherished, to open.
Her arousal is less dependent on your mastery of technique and far more about her feeling safe, seen and heard.
The thing is, pretty much every woman on earth has been taught to over-ride her true heart needs in order to get love. Which, in the patriarchal framing, = offering up her body and holy womb space for his pleasure.
No wonder so many women report feeling sexually dissatisfied!!
Which, of course, has knock on effects on her health, career and overall well-being.
A well-fucked woman is, in essence, a happy woman
This is not to put the onus or blame on men for what they're not doing. They have an opposite and equal journey to make. And suffer just as much from the disconnect.
It is important, though, for these distinctions and alienations to be mutually recognised.
If a woman has been saying "YES" for years (even with her silence), when her heart and yoni are feeling "NO", her body and mind will have constructed layers of defence to guard against true intimacy.
And so the path to ecstasy and sexual empowerment for every woman will require a meeting of those blocks.
Not through a frenetic attempt to shove a crystal wand up her cunt (in true masculine thinking: the "issue" is with my sex, therefore I'd better make it open).
But through listening to and feeling the emotions, crying the tears, owning the shadows. Creating the longed for safety within.
The choice to reclaim your full sexual aliveness and empowerment, dear women, lies with you.
In my Awakening Shakti Depth Mentorship programme, I guide you through a comprehensive 9-month journey of re-birthing the true you.
I also have a couple of slots available right now for one-to-one mentoring.
Message me if you're called ! xxx
Art: "Kissing my heart" by Ines Honfi