Here comes yet another addendum to my original blog directed at men on the theme of:
"Your looks are almost the last thing on my list".
I'm moved to add this, due to a moment I had with a close friend this morning.
And then a comment by a man on said post.
You see, the thing is, it does get more complex.
It's NEVER just about what you look like.
Even if that's what you think and have been conditioned to see and believe.
Because your emotions and psyche are written into your body.
And people like me can read them and feel them.
I can literally tell from your posture, stance and gait what's going on for you.
Your thoughts and energy radiate off you.
Especially to any woman, who's done some inner work.
Which is why, I say again, you could look like Adonis, but have the most repellant vibes.
Or be pretty average looking, but magnetic as hell, because you've done your inner work and are present.
And believe me or not (if you don't, it's your loss), every woman longs for masculine presence.
And every man can embody that regardless of looks.
This also helps explain why it can seem like a self-fulfilling prophecy of "I'm not a hunk, therefore nobody is attracted to me".
Because if you believe that, that's what you'll emanate.
That lack of confidence will come across in your stance and speech.
You WILL be less attractive, but not because of your looks, because of your thoughts, emotions and energy.
And you WILL attract women who will simply reflect back to you your lack of self-worth and unresolved resentment.
An ugly mind makes for an ugly man.
Same goes for women.
I've worked with women and their bodies for 20 years.
Pretty much every one of them was hating on their physicality.
And believing that their value came from conforming to an externally defined notion of beauty and sexyness.
The patriarchal conditioning.
Guess what? They lacked confidence, inner connection and weren't able to open to full sexual pleasure or relational intimacy.
They kept themselves small and attracted or tolerated bad behaviour.
I could see right through all the external paraphenalia to the insecurity beneath.
What I teach and know to be true, is the antithesis of this.
Beauty comes from within.
You have to be at home in your body to be truly magnetic and sexually open.
Goddess radiance lasts forever.
It has NOTHING to do with age, shape or size.
A man who doesn't see this isn't worth dating.
Which is not to say we don't all still have our preferences.
Of course, we do.
No shame for that.
But it's good to know, that all the primping and performing amounts to nothing really if the core of you is hurting or hating.
It's written all over you.
So. Wanna enhance your chances of attracting someone you really dig, where mutual appreciation flows both ways?
Then love and value yourself. Inside to out.
Do the inner work.
Heal your mother/father/lover wounds.
Cultivate presence, embodiment and energy.
Stop trying to live up to anybody else's ideal.
Just be you. Without holding back.
And then even if you don't meet someone aligned right away, at the very least you'll be leading a life of authenticity, fullest self-expression and well-being.
ps. if this or my previous posts are stirring something for you - man or woman - and you're curious to know more about my work and mentoring, message me.