This is a beautiful picture isn't it? It was taken by my former Beloved a little under a year ago on an idyllic "private" beach on the Sunshine Coast of Australia. At the time I was deeply in love, believed I was with the man I would share the rest of my life with and was in awe at how ALL my visions and dreams had come true so rapidly - landing in my lap in one great whoosh of abundant blessing. Within months of this picture being taken, however, that dream was crumbling around me, as our relationship fell apart and I had to let go of all that I and we had envisioned together This was deeply painful and discombobulating. One minute I "had it all", knew where I was headed and had told the whole world about it. The next it was gone and I had no idea what was next. And yet, as I sit here today writing to you, all I am able to feel is love and gratitude in my heart for the profound gifts of this chapter in my life. Besides the many beautiful tangible gifts I am left with from this incredibly generous man, I have:
written a book
birthed a dream project in Heart to Heart,
travelled to several gorgeous tropical destinations
been showered with the most immense love and support
grown in love, self-awareness and my understanding of relationship dynamics (the raison d'etre for my entire life & work!)
and now I am focussed as never before and with great excitement upon a new and even more expansive future. How blessed I am ! And yet, had you asked me if I would have been able to forsee myself here now, feeling so happy and thankful, following such epic devastation, I doubt I could have. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if some of you are wondering how on earth this is possible. Well, much of my shift in perspective has come as a result of following an understanding and process I've developed called The Gift. As I wrote my book over the past few years, (a memoir that charts my transformation from sexless, single Mum to Sacred Sexual Priestess) I began to notice a pattern.
Each unbearable heart-break opened me to greater love.
Each gut-wrenching betrayal strengthened my Spirit.
Each period of abject despair was followed by fresh inspiration and expansion.
I began to see myself not as a victim, but as a soul being supported in every moment in the most perfect of ways to realise itself. And the more I recognised this, the clearer the impeccability of my lessons and blessings became, and the easier it was not only to accept what had happened, but be profoundly grateful for it - even the moments when I thought I might want to die. (And yes, I really did, on more than one occasion). Naturally, there was an essential grieving period between the moment of loss and the shift into gratitude, but having this perspective has eliminated blame and allowed me to let go of otherwise destructive thoughts and emotions. Although this concept arose from my own lived experience, I also began to see how all that I've studied in yoga and tantra supported this understanding and then I began to see the same pattern of divine benevolence everywhere! As I interviewed more guests for Heart to Heart, it became very clear to me that the vast majority of these incredible people - now leaders and visionaries of immense light and power - had also experienced their own dark night of the soul and, in fact, it was out of that painful and seemingly hopeless place, that their purpose was born. And as I reflected upon all the spiritual self-help books I've read, it struck me how there too, so many of the great teachers had either experienced a profound awakening and/or embarked upon their divine destiny (and frequently both) following a moment of utter desolation. It was a natural step for me from that realisation, to wanting to support others in moving beyond suffering, resentment, blame and self-limiting behaviour, by recognising that more often than not, the very situation that has hurt them the most, is the one holding the biggest treasure!
And so, this summer at the One World Festival, I presented my first workshop on the topic, which was powerful and deeply moving. Participants showed up from all walks of life and of all ages, each of them not really knowing what was about to happen, yet each of them with their own unique story of challenge or loss.
In the brief time we had together, I witnessed the beauty of hearts opening, tears flowing, connections forming and clarity dawning.
Moved to expand this work, I began to write my second book, entitled The Gift, which tells the deeper story of how I came to this understanding and my process to support others in getting there.
And then life and work got so busy that the writing stalled. But the Universe kept on sending me signs. On the 5 Rhythms dance floor, on came Annie Lennox's "The Gift", a friend returned a book to me (after 2 years!) - Haifz's "The Gift", a sign by the road-side. And many more.
For anyone who wants it, there is a whole new perspective waiting for you, that will point you towards your authentic power and purpose in life and make everything that has happened begin to make perfect sense ! The one proviso is that you have to want it and thus be willing to acknowledge the truth about yourself, take full responsibility for your life and let go of all those stories that have hitherto kept you safe, but stuck. The workshop is taking place on Saturday, November 25th, 9.30am-5.30pm at my home, near Cockfosters, North London. Registration is limited to 6 beautiful souls and your investment is just £99 if you book before Saturday, November 18th, or £120 thereafter. Please follow this link for immediate booking or email me if you would like to speak with me first over the phone, ask any questions or enquire about a one-to-one session instead. I'm excited for what is going to be revealed. We are all here for a reason and the sooner you discover your Gift, the better ! xxx