A week or so ago, a relating experience in my life threw up feelings of deep heart-ache, grief and vulnerability for me. Rejection, self-recrimination, shame, separation, not good enough, loneliness, longing, sexual frustration, an aching to be touched, hopelessness and victimhood were all moving through. It hurt. I'm super sensitive and feel very deeply. Each of these states created acute discomfort in my physical body. To the point where, in some moments, it was as much as
How many times have I chanted "Sat Nam" (truth is my name) in the past 11 years of practising Kundalini Yoga? How many times have I swooned to hear and sing along with Snatam Kaur's exquisite rendition of Jap Man Sat Nam with its heart-stirring refrain: "All my life, meditate on Sat Nam - the true name of my Beloved" (Oh, and if you really want to know, it must be at least 5000x for the first one and possibly 100 for the second). And yet how many times have I swallowed, over-
In my Awakening Shakti Online Group Programme for women just now, I am teaching on Authentic Power & Sovereignty. Anger is an important part of this teaching. Generally speaking, women have been taught to suppress their anger and men learn to project it out in what can quickly become aggression or violence. Man's fear of a woman's wrath can lead him to withdraw, shut down or attempt to defend himself by pointing out her irrationality or staking a claim to greater authority. W
There's a man I know, who coaches at my kids' athletics club. He's middle-aged, personable and chatty. Whenever we meet, he always asks how not only I am, but also my mother, who he remembers has dementia. He listens with genuine care. This man gives up a lot of his spare time to coach young people for absolutely no financial reward. He's done it for years, going to the club and back 2-3x a week, accompanying them on the long coach rides to race-meets, taking videos, keeping
A huge factor at play in our domestication is the good girl/good boy syndrome. A good girl, so we are told, is pretty in pink, softly spoken and oozing sweetness. She cries easily and her tears are touching. A good boy, so we are told, excels: he's a winner, a leader, a hero, a champ. He never cries: his invulnerability is admirable. Of course, it's acceptable to be a tom-boy - to an extent - so long as we don't take it too far. But the equivalent concept of a "jane-girl" doe
The other day, my gorgeous daughter, Rose, was asked out by a boy in her class. He then texted her to make two specific suggestions - they could go to the movies or out for a meal. Rose likes this boy: he's a friend and she enjoys his company. But she doesn't want to date him. She asked for my help in composing a kind response to him that would deliver a "no", yet be respectful of his feelings. I was really touched by the gallantry of this young man, as well as Rose's intenti
Last year I got badly burned in relationship. Not just a little boo-boo kinda burn, but what felt like third degree burns all over, inside and out. It was abusive and dysfunctional and I’ve written about it in 2 previous blogs (see them here and here). So I’m not going to re-hash that here. What I’m now interested in, and what a conversation with the amazing coach Jo Valentina-Sinclair got me thinking about, is: how do I safeguard myself against a repeat performance? and h
“Anger does not disappear as we evolve and in fact may become even more fiery, but it burns more and more cleanly, serving the well-being of all involved.” Robert Augustus Masters Having recently come out of an abusive relationship, I am, understandably, paying close attention to my boundaries. Recognising that I not only over-rode some subtle inner signals that things weren’t “right”, but also tolerated and made allowances for my partner’s increasingly cruel and aggressive
Are you dating a blamer & complainer? Beware ! I should have known better. After all, I know that how we speak about others usually says more about us than it does about them (projection central!). I know the golden rule that when you point the finger, there are three pointing back at you. I know that I feel physically uncomfortable if people are gossiping or bad-mouthing others. (And incredibly guilty and off -centre if I lapse into unconscious critique myself.) I know tha
This is a beautiful picture isn't it? It was taken by my former Beloved a little under a year ago on an idyllic "private" beach on the Sunshine Coast of Australia.
At the time I was deeply in love, believed I was with the man I would share the rest of my life with and was in awe at how ALL my visions and dreams had come true so rapidly - landing in my lap in one great whoosh of abundant blessing.
Within months of this picture being taken, however, that dream was crumblin
When I broke up with my Beloved and spoke openly about my pain, I was surprised by one comment from a friend (and fellow tantra teacher) that I should consider relating from a place of “conditional” as opposed to “unconditional” love. This totally threw me, as I have lived as an aspiring unconditional lover for many years, mindfully measuring my progress towards that elusive target and praying that one day I may attain that blissful state permanently in a moment of Great Awak
I was having a conversation with my Beloved the other night, in which I named my belief that the shadow work we are doing is not only for us, but the collective. It’s my firm belief that whatever love-limiting behaviours we do not resolve within ourselves as they arise in this present dance of intimacy (in to me see) will pop up again in any future relationship. I see this as the call to healing of my wounded places both as a unique individual and as a Priestess of the Goddes