Since my son started working (he decided to take a year off Uni, rather than spend a year studying online), he's made a few comments about me "not working" or not working as much as he is.
To him, working means sitting at his desk, staring at his computer and DOING stuff.
Whereas he sees me getting up according to my body clock, not the alarm clock, sitting for up to an hour in meditation, reading, dancing, journalling, practising yoga and going for walks.
As well as the kind of doing stuff he equates with productivity.
It's just that my ratio of DOING to BEING, LEARNING & SELF-CARE is very different to his.
I don't want to judge his way, since I believe we all have to discover what is right for ourselves, but I do see how the conditioning of our society is to emphasise the masculine (doing/acting/external) over the feminine (being/resting/internal).
And I've learned not only does this not work for me, but I am WAY MORE productive, creative, healthy and abundant when I live in flow and prioritise body, mind and spirit FIRST, not second.
Especially when juggling work, home and parenting solo.
And, in fact, the more I think I have to do or feel out of sorts, the more I know I need to prioritise all my practices of well-BEING, rather than putting stress on myself.
It's also ESSENTIAL for me as a teacher of Embodied Awareness & Awakening for Women, that I practice what I preach daily. I could not show up with such presence, clarity and wisdom if I did not devote so much time to the ongoing cultivation of inner unification, shadow clearing, self-love, education, movement and stillness.
Although it may not look or feel like it, this IS my work.
It's what enables me to be who I am.
And it's often in those moments of self-care, play, creativity, self-expression or pure non-doing that the biggest awakenings, insights and intuitions land. Or client requests land in my in-box.
I used to feel some shame around this. As if it was something I had to hide. Believing I must be lazy or selfish even !
Now I realise that was me buying into the mainstream patriarchal narrative that reveals its values without even needing to state them.
Work hard. Do more. Control life. Get those results. Privilege the mind. Over-ride the body.
These days I fully value my way of being, living and working and no longer need to pretend I fit in.
And I'm also increasingly aligning with other women and soul-preneurs, who totally get that this is not only the way for them, but most likely the way of the future.
As we all continue to navigate these shifting times, I imagine this is wisdom many need to hear. I get that uncertainty can evoke fear, which can lead to panicked doing, but my experience proves to me that the more I give to my self and focus on aligning daily with what feels loving and true, the more I flourish. And that alone is my gift to the world and all around me.