She doesn’t say “how could he do this to me?”
But “why did I allow it?
What belief or wounding within me is resonant with dis-respect? How can I clean up my boundaries, honour my needs, speak my truth and practice self-love?"
She doesn’t say “why is he doing this?”
But asks herself “what do I feel when he does this? And is there anything I wish to heal, ask for or change?”
She doesn’t say “he’s a shit lover and I never come.”
But “I take responsibility for my pleasure and partner choices, and recognise that I’m an equal part of this equation. What is my part and do I wish to change it?"
She doesn’t say “all men are ass-holes/liars/fuckboys/avoidant/unreliable/cheaters”.
But “Life encompasses all possibilities. I see what I believe and I create my own reality. The wounds and shadows I attract and focus upon in men are a mirror to my own. I’m doing what it takes to clear and heal my body, heart and womb of these patterns."
She doesn’t say “I wish he wouldn’t keep doing that”.
But speaks to him cleanly, clearly and directly with her request.
She doesn’t say “this is the best I can get, so I’d better make do.”
But “My time, body and energy are precious. I know my worth. I hold my standards. I deserve to be fully met.”
She doesn’t say “I need a man to experience my sexuality.”
But “my sensual enjoyment and expansion isn’t dependent on anybody else or for anybody else. It's a fundamental part of my well-being and womanly spirituality. I claim this for me.”
She doesn’t remain silent and let herself be done to in any way that feels wrong.
But voices her needs, desires and boundaries without fear or shame.
She doesn’t say “a man will never like me looking like this”.
But “I love and accept myself exactly as I am. I am perfectly imperfect and a beautiful expression of Goddess. The more I accept myself, the more accepted I will be. There is nothing I need to change about my body or appearance to be loved or desired. If he doesn’t like the way I look, he isn’t for me.”
I get that you have grown up in a culture that seeks to dim your light and blind you to your power and agency.
I get that trauma and abuse have been a part of the collective conditioning around the feminine and sexuality for centuries.
I understand that things have happened in which you truly had no choice or were unaware that you did.
And now it's time to change that.
In the safe space held by a sister, Priestess and wise-woman who has journeyed through all of this herself.
The Sovereign Sexual Woman Retreat June 18-19, 2022 Hampstead, London