I was having a conversation with my Beloved the other night, in which I named my belief that the shadow work we are doing is not only for us, but the collective.
It’s my firm belief that whatever love-limiting behaviours we do not resolve within ourselves as they arise in this present dance of intimacy (in to me see) will pop up again in any future relationship.
I see this as the call to healing of my wounded places both as a unique individual and as a Priestess of the Goddess devoted to awakening and divine union.
My soul’s irresistible impetus is to move beyond the unconscious masculine and feminine patterning of centuries, in order to forge a new inner and outer alchemy of oneness that will be an essential part of the New Earth.
And as I’ve journeyed on this path, I’ve become increasingly aware, that I’ve been processing a significant amount of deep wounding and ingrained thought-forms not only on my own behalf, but also for my children, my ancestors and indeed ALL men and women – past, present and future.
This is no longer a solo dance of love, pain and pleasure. It’s a gift of service – yes, of course, to my own liberation, but also to the whole.
As I address that which has limited me in shining my divine feminine essence into the world; as I face my fears, hurts and anger in this lifetime, so I’m clearing the karma of all who’ve gone before and all who are to come. I’m making the buck stop with me.
This is by no means an easy or comfortable path. The pain and anger of the Feminine for the centuries of oppression She has endured – and indeed the way in which her body and wisdom continue to be desecrated and ignored - are understandable and immense.
And yet, until that anger is felt and then transmuted, we will continue to be locked into an old paradigm dichotomy of man versus woman and fear versus love.
As I held space for a Dancing the Goddess workshop this morning, I was reminded of the importance of all of this.
During our dance, it took a little while for the women to really drop in, but then I noticed there was still a tendency to be smiley and floaty, even though I sensed – as is almost always the case – the need for a wilder aspect of the feminine to express.
“Let’s not make nice!” I urged the women. “SHE is also dark, earthy, primal, angry and fierce!” And as we tapped into this a little more, faces got both brighter and more real.
There is so much energy – and hence aliveness – that is sacrificed on the altar of being good and fitting in. But nothing will clear or change if we continue to live in the well-worn groove of numbed-out superfice.
In the closing circle, one woman shared her awareness of the anger that has been running her for years. It wasn’t explicable in terms of her current reality, but the dance had brought it present and she sensed it originated with her ancestors.
Another woman shared of the profound shifts in awareness and healing she has moved through, in order to forgive her mother for crushing her budding creativity and sensuality so harshly as a teen, that it led to physical illness and eventually hysterectomy.
Yet this woman also understood that as she was finally awakening – now as a mother of two grown kids – she was doing it for past, as well as future generations.
She could tell that her mother was on some level grateful, proud and relieved that her daughter had managed to escape that which still kept her locked in rigidity and fear.
As I sat with this woman and her own daughter over lunch, it was clear to me that this pattern was now done. The buck had stopped. And a new future was now available to them both.
It is easy to become so immersed in our personal dramas that we lose sight of where we’ve come from and are going to. But if we imagine that all time is concentrated in this one moment, then our choice of now can realign whole bloodlines and lifetimes with the birthing of a new dawn.