How many times have I chanted "Sat Nam" (truth is my name) in the past 11 years of practising Kundalini Yoga?
How many times have I swooned to hear and sing along with Snatam Kaur's exquisite rendition of Jap Man Sat Nam with its heart-stirring refrain: "All my life, meditate on Sat Nam - the true name of my Beloved"
(Oh, and if you really want to know, it must be at least 5000x for the first one and possibly 100 for the second).
And yet how many times have I swallowed, over-ridden or denied my truth in relationship with man? Too many to mention !!
Why?
Quite simple: my fear of being rejected or abandoned as a result.
Out of the fear of losing him, I have not been fully true.
Distorting, contorting, denying, shrinking and shaming myself in a misguided attempt to win or hold on to love.
Not realising that I am already love. Already whole.
That there is nothing or no-one to catch or keep and he can never be "mine".
That we are all already free as the wind.
And that the only path to true love is truth.
More recently, I've been discovering that when I courageously honour my truth at all times, then love and intimacy are effortlessly magnetised.
This requires us to refuse to bow to the fear of "losing him", but instead bow down to truth in every moment.
Even when there is pain. Even when we are shaking.
Not as a manipulation. But as a sincere practice of devotion.
The magic is, that only then does He feel free enough to stay. Sensing now, the clarity of our alignment in love and the absence of any co-dependent cling.
On an unconscious level, he can feel your words and actions aren't coming from a need, but an already self-sourced well of unshakeable Being.
A whole new world of radically authentic, awakened relating becomes possible... paving the way for the love we have always yearned for.
This beautiful art by Ines Honfi.